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Etiquette for Having (or not having) Kids at Your Wedding

Whether you want to include children at your wedding or you’re looking for a way to let your guests know that your wedding will be an adults-only celebration, this should answer some of your big questions about kids and weddings.

The first step is deciding whether or not you want to invite children to your wedding. Try to make this decision early on in the planning process. Talk to your partner about your preferences and their preferences, and see if there are any important children you want or need to include in your day. Typically, if any kids are going to be invited, everyone should be allowed to bring their kids.

The only exception to this is if you want a flower girl and ring bearer to be included in your big day. If the flower girl and/or ring bearer are part of your wedding ceremony, they might be allowed to stay for the reception as well, or childcare arrangements can be made for post-ceremony celebrations. Either way, make sure you and your partner present a united front about this decision.

Once you decide if children will be invited or not, make sure you word your invitations very clearly to help communicate who is invited. For example, you could address your invitation to The Becker Family. Or you could address your invitation to Henry and Mary Becker. If you have an inner envelope for your invitation, you could explicitly write each invitees name there: To Henry, Mary, Rachel and Joey. There could also be a line on your invitation or in your invitation suite stating: Children are Welcome, or Adults-Only Celebration (this can be expanded upon on your wedding website, or you can enlist the help of your parents to spread the word about your decision).

It is also a good idea to call families with children to let them know any specifics about if your wedding will be kid-friendly or adults-only. If it is kid-friendly, you could have a quick chat with them to let them know there will be activities or child care available at the wedding, or to see if any little ones need a booster seat or high chair.

If it is going to be adults-only, letting the parents know as soon as possible is a good idea so that they can make arrangements for childcare on your wedding day/weekend. You’ll also want to stick to your policy, and don’t feel the need to over-explain yourself about your decision.

If you want to include children in your wedding ceremony or day, there are a few other things they can do besides the traditional roles of ring bearer and flower girl (depending on the individuals, of course). They could hand out packets for tossing at the end of the ceremony, pass out favors in baskets to guests, or give a group reading or sing a group song. If you have an especially long veil or train, you could have train bearers in addition to your flower girl and ring bearer.

Another factor in inviting children to your wedding is the menu/catering situation. Typically your caterer will have a kid’s option for plated meals, but not necessarily a separate food item for a buffet style meal. Either way, pricing for children’s meals is often lower than it is for the adult meals. Any kids invited to your wedding should not be included in your bartending/alcohol total.

If you want to have a kids’ table, keep in mind that children under 6 or 7 years old might prefer to sit with their parents. Kids tables tend to work best for children years 7 and up. Placing activity bags at each seat can be a good way to keep them at their kids’ table. If your venue allows for a kid’s room (separate from your main reception room) make sure you have an adult on duty in there to oversee them all. Since you’ll probably want their parents celebrating with you, this should be a hired childcare professional.

Etiquette for Having Pets at Your Wedding

Are you looking for a way to include your adorable pet (or pets) in your wedding? Take a look at these ideas for making sure your big day goes smoothly for everyone, especially your pet. (FYI, when most people include a pet in a wedding, that pet is a dog. Most of this information will be geared towards dogs, but it can apply to your other pets as well).

Here are some factors to consider when trying to decide if you should include your pet “in-person” or if you’ll honor your pet from a distance on your wedding day.

• Does your venue allow animals on the property?

• If so, can they attend the ceremony, the reception, or both?

• If they can attend the ceremony only, do you have a person who can watch them/take them home during the reception?

• Does your pet do well in new environments?

• Does your pet do well in crowds or with strangers?

• Will your pet try to eat the decorations? If so, can they be installed higher than your pet can reach?

• If your pet will attend, do you want to check with your guests about allergies?

• If your pet will attend, let your caterer know to see if they have any concerns or adjustments to make to help accommodate this decision.

• If your pet will attend, let your photographer know so that they can capture the important moments with your furry friend.

Whatever you decide, here are some special ways you can include your pet in your wedding, “in-person” or otherwise:

• Include them in a pre-ceremony photo shoot

• Dress your pet in festive attire for the big day

• Let them hang with you in your getting ready suite (if allowed)

• Have them attend your ceremony as a member of your wedding party (or walk down the aisle with them)

• Attach a Go-Pro to your pet to get wedding footage from their perspective

• Mention them in your ceremony in personalized vows or through a special reading

• Include them in your wedding stationery, cocktail napkins, table numbers, or other signage

• Make customized cufflinks, pocket square, handkerchief or jewelry with their photos or names on them to keep them with you on wedding day

• Name a signature drink after your pet (maybe include custom swizzle sticks with your pets image!)

• Make cardboard cutouts of them

• Have a pet-themed photo booth

• For favors, ask for donations to animal charities or shelters, or give away pet snacks in addition to human favors

• Include them as part of your cake topper

If you do have your pet/pets come to your wedding, consider hiring a pet sitter to keep an eye on them (and walk them/clean up after them, make sure they have food and water, etc.) during and after the wedding. The pet sitter can either stay with your pet as long as they are needed at the ceremony and reception, or you can have them take your pet home after the ceremony and pictures are completed.

Alternately, if you want to include animals instead of pets (beer burros, llamas, ponies, falcons, hawks, owls, elephants, etc.) make sure your venue allows them and has appropriate space for them. Make sure your contract with your animal vendor includes someone to clean up after them. Make sure the animals attending are good with noise and crowds of people.

As always, your wedding planner or coordinator is a resource for you, and we can help you figure out all the details for including your pet (or other fun animals) in your big day!